University is a strange thing. To me it feels like being in a bubble; time seems to pass quicker and heightened stress and anxiety.
I guess this post is a continuation of my last post discussing university and how I feel about the experience. An important development is that shortly after my previous post, nearly a year ago, I ended up withdrawing from the university to go back to my part time job - the experience there was too isolating and damaging for me to carry on. Now, a year later, I am back at a different university, closer to home with a similar course to what I was doing previously.
As I write this I am only heading into my third week but it seems like a lot longer. The weird thing about the 'bubble' is that I can now be pulled out of it by simply returning home for a weekend or so. As nice as that has been I feel it may become slightly damaging to myself. When in the 'bubble', I am more anxious than I usually am, more tired, social experiences drain me more, more aware of my finances but also able to deal with certain situations a little better because it becomes the norm. I am not great with extroverted people and a lot of people I seem to encounter would fit into that category, consequently I sink deeper into an anxious state, not wanting to emerge out of my room to make myself dinner. Despite my best efforts, a few days into the university experience I withdraw.
Pulling myself out of the 'bubble' is great by allowing myself to return to a sense of normal before university but when I get put back in, everything seems a lot worse - I am not able to deal with situations as well as I would in the 'bubble' for a week or so. The extroverts seem more extroverted and I become more introverted.
Finding ways to cope with this is still a work in progress. I'm not very good with empty time, preferring to have structure and a busy day. Currently I don't have that, only being in university for two days a week leaving me with five days to fill. I am attempting the society route, trying to find people with similar interests to help fill the time, recently having tried ice skating and photography. I am also fortunate to have my best friend studying at the same university and therefore around should I need her, a greatly appreciated reassurance.
University feels like being between two worlds; your life before university and your university one, both having different social standards. As much as I try to embrace the university lifestyle I feel drawn back to my life before, missing my job and the friends I've made from that and even simply being able to drive. University offers the opportunity to live away from home and live a more independent life but all I think about is the one I left behind, pulled between two worlds, confined to the 'bubble'.

It's common knowledge that the adjustment to university comes with a variety of new challenges; getting used to a new place, living alone and meeting a whole bunch of new people, just to name a few. As someone who wasn't 100% sold on the idea of going to university or really knowing what I wanted from it, this time seemed even more unfamiliar and challenging but it didn't truly hit me until a few weeks in.

Although I haven't been able to post that much this year, for reasons that shall be explained at another time, I still wanted to review the goals I set at the beginning of 2016.

To My Best Friend,
I am worried. Worried that in the next two years of college that I will be replaced. I worry that your obsessions and terrible jokes will be directed towards someone else and that I will gradually be shut out of your life. I worry that someone else will come along and be a better friend than I have, leaving you to move on.
I am terrified. I am terrified to face college life without you, terrified that I won't be able to run to you during the day and pour my heart out with my concerns. I just want you there with me, guiding me and helping me through each day as I know I will struggle.
I am unsettled. Unsettled that in your time of need, I won't be there to attempt to cheer to you up and take your mind off your troubles. Likewise, that you will not be there to do the exact same thing for me - this brings me a great amount of discomfort. I am largely unsettled by not knowing who to turn to in my hour of need. Before it was so simple, I'd know where you would be but now you are at a distance that I can not travel in my lunch break.
I am sad. I am saddened by the fact that I can't tell you things as soon as they happen, to tell you the funny stories that happen and to share my success with you instantly. But mostly, I am saddened by the fact that I won't be able to walk into form everyday and see you, spend my breaks and free time with you.
I am hopeful. Hopeful that whilst you are reading this that you are aware of how much I love you and want you in my life for many years to come. I don't want you to become 'that person I was best friends with in secondary school', I want you to be my life long best friend! I want our friendship to survive and to become one that other people are envious of. But most importantly, as long as I have you around I will be much happier then if you were not.

As someone who is about to move on to college (or Year 12) one of my main concerns is not how I'll find my way around; how hard the subjects will be but actually, how do I make friends?
It may seem like such a stupid concept to be preoccupied about but I've spent the last five years of my life with the same group of people. To be suddenly thrown into a mix of thousands more students, where I am not guaranteed to know anyone reminds me completely and utterly of my first day at secondary school - I moved from a different country and was, seemingly, the only girl with a friend. Of course, it did not take me long to make friends but that doesn't seem to reassure me, five years later. What I am concerned about, stupidly, is that I have lost the ability to make friends. How do I just go up and talk to someone? How can I make them like me? What is it that attracted my old friends to me? How will I know they are the right friends for me?
With all these, among hundreds of other questions swirling around my head, it is no wonder people dread leaving school and moving onto higher education.
However, despite all the worries that niggle at the back of my brain about my future I am also incredibly excited to leave my secondary school, not because I didn't enjoy i - I loved school and will always have fond memories of it - but because it is all part of my 'growing up' and despite the fact that I do not want to be burdened with the responsibilities of being an adult, the anticipations of the worlds that open up to you as you grown up is thrilling! I just recently received a booklet about my course (International Baccalaureate) and was able to learn more about what I will be studying; the possible trips I will take, the induction days...All that have contributed to a feeling of excitement, even if I can't decide what outfit I should wear on the first day...first impressions, right?!
I suppose what I am trying to say is that although you may, like me, not want to leave the security and routine of school and old friendships behinds, the future is exciting! You will be meeting new people, admiring new faces, experiencing new things and that should be a good thing! I hope anyone moving on in one way or another in their lives, enjoys the change!

Written by Billie Powell

My whole year group has now finished secondary school, our GCSE exams are all over, and we have a ten week summer holiday that is now in full swing! This, of course, is extremely exciting however I always feel as though I have wasted my summer when we go back to school in September. Therefore, I have devised a list of 'goals' or things I want to do this summer before I start college:

See my friends - I know this seems like quite a mundane thing, but I feel like now more than ever it is really important that I keep in contact with those friends who I value greatly and may not see as much at college, or even those who I will see! This summer is the perfect opportunity to spend every spare moment with people who mean a lot to me - with a couple of my best friends we have agreed to do something at least once a week.

Take lots of photos and videos - Something that our generation does a lot is photograph everything. Sunsets, meals, parties, every detail is captured. However, an aspect of photography that I feel is not covered enough is video. My mum has so many home videos of me from when I was little, which are so cute to look back on, but I hardly have any videos of me and my friends, so that is something I aim to do more!

Read lots - I've always been someone who does a lot of reading and I really enjoy doing so! But, since revision took over my life, this has been shoved to the bottom of my priority list. However, since being on holiday so far I have read all of the Maze Runner series - I am just finishing the prequel - and I loved it!

Despite only having three things on my list that I can think of, there are probably way more that I could add and probably will do.

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Written by Ellie Taylor

Time is kind of the scariest concept of them all. Forget monsters under the bed or thunder storms or anything else that could be deemed as scary. Because fears change throughout life, but time is a constant, always there and always evident. For example, I have just finished school, which is crazy because it feels like yesterday that I was walking through the doors on my first day with fellow teeny eleven year olds anxious to be assigned a big kid to show them to their class. But it was five years ago.  Five entire years. And that concept is so very bizarre because five years ago that was happening, however five years into the future I will nearly be twenty two which seems so much further away than the comforting and familiar age of eleven. But whilst time is a very relevant fear of mine right now, it is also extremely comforting to know that certain aspects or times in my life are over or will be over soon, or at least will be over one day.
I had awful anxiety about going in to school five years ago, whereas now, five years ahead, I have embraced every day of school with a smile (if a slightly reluctant smile some days) because of its familiarity and safety, and I know that despite being sad about the end of such a long five years, this sadness won't last forever and very soon there will new things to consume the excitement/happiness cortex of my brain.
The passing of time is scary and is sometime the worst thing imaginable. But it is mainly exciting and unknown, often unknown in the best of ways.

Written by Georgina Dent.

Am I An Introvert Or An Extrovert is a question I find myself asking a lot. When it comes to everyone else or group contributions I am definitely and introvert; I hate it so much! An example of this happened a few days ago:
We were in one of our lessons and I had an answer to the question that the teacher had just asked the class, however I didn't want to put my hand up and say it because I hate the contribution. The person I sat next to heard my whisper the answer to the question and said that I should put my hand up in which I replied that I hated group contributions. He then put up his hand and told the teacher my answer acknowledging the fact that it was mine. My teacher then gave up both merits and told me to contribute more but from my end its not quite that simple.
On the more extroverted side of things, when I am around my close friends and people I trust that I can be myself, I completely let myself go and its like nothing was ever introverted. Of course, this occurrence isn't very often but I am trying to find ways to make it happen more often so that I can slowly become more extroverted again.
I feel like I should explain what being introverted and extroverted is just in case you don't know (if you do feel free to skip to the next paragraph). Being an introvert means that you are particularly shy and don't enjoy contributing in group topics or maybe in more extreme cases at all. Being extroverted means that you are a very bold character and can be very loud and not care what other may think. At least that's how I look at the difference between the two.
I don't know why over the past few years I have become more introverted quite rapidly in my eyes. Its gotten to a point in which I won't contribute my answers or ideas in lessons which results in my report being put down and it takes me a while to adjust to a new teacher which means I won't ask for help if I don't feel comfortable. This has meant that I have stayed in the same group when I could of gotten moved up because I have never had that teacher and I feel like I will be back to square one.
Starting college next year freaks me out a lot mainly because I will have to start with the build up of these relationships all over again. How do you even make friends again?
I think one factor that has contributed to this is that I was part of a friendship group in which one member was extremely extroverted and loud and would always but in to what other people were saying. This would then lead me on to not saying anything whilst being around that person which has now had a lasting affect.
Thankfully, now I am out of that situation and I try to avoid it as much as possible if the situation ever arises. I would recommend you all do the same if you have a similar problem.